great progression from beginning to end. that last line is a very effective punch to end the poem. the imagery throughout the first stanza sets up quite nicely. my first of yours and it will not be my last.
I love the imagery in this. It plays out so nicely and the contrast between the immensity of the road and the 3 girls at the ant mound “disrupting the pattern” is amazing. I think about the 3 fates. “Disrupted the pattern.” Wow.
Thank you, everyone. You know, I almost didn’t post it – felt pretty tentative about it. But you have given me a great boost and a dose of courage today. Thanks so much.
Our final project for the summer was to build a ramada on the south side of the house. This side gets a lot of sun, and the rooms get hot. Mike figured out a way to channel run-off from the roof to the ramada, and next summer, our first project will be to plant some […]
Magnificent. You had me at “scudded.” OK, you had me well before scudded. I love that turn at the end. I got chills reading it.
First comment of the day made my day. Thanks!
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Dana, thank you so much for the plug!
Beautiful. Good use of the words, too.
Nice poem! Nice lines
great progression from beginning to end. that last line is a very effective punch to end the poem. the imagery throughout the first stanza sets up quite nicely. my first of yours and it will not be my last.
I love the imagery in this. It plays out so nicely and the contrast between the immensity of the road and the 3 girls at the ant mound “disrupting the pattern” is amazing. I think about the 3 fates. “Disrupted the pattern.” Wow.
Thanks so much, James. I hadn’t even thought of the fates. It is always great when someone gives me an insight into what I have written.
Thank you, everyone. You know, I almost didn’t post it – felt pretty tentative about it. But you have given me a great boost and a dose of courage today. Thanks so much.
Great image here — love the final lines.
The imagery is just beautiful, and the last two lines really resonate.
Seemingly diverse images converge. That is the beauty of this poem.
x-y-z: all three axes
but the road ahead was empty,
an abstract stroke on vellum.
This is just wonderful. The whole poem is good, but these lines especially.