Today’s poem comes from Read Write Poem prompt #96. Using some of the words in the prompt, I returned to my American Sentence Field Notes – I have written 30 of these by now – and rearranged them into this five line poem. The 17 syllable form requires strong verbs, so the Wordle prompts are really helpful.
Field Notes: Storm
i.
Dawn call to prayer echoes from twenty mosques. Parrots croak in counterpoint.
ii.
Magpie tells it like it is. Reprobate cat stalks shadows near the hedge.
iii.
Crow makes wisecracks from the tree tops. Horse chestnut shells rattle to the ground.
iv.
Bird chatter is all croak and consonant. Tis cat that vowelizes.
v.
Branch like broken mast crashes to ground. Yellow sycamore leaf sails by.
vi.
Trees no longer resist change of seasons. Twigs, seeds, leaves, and nuts rain down.
Person here to comment thinks this is insightfully clever of you.
On so many levels the form you’ve chosen is expressively sound.
The yellow sycamore leaf is so powerful and loud in it’s float.
thanks. =D
The brevity and turn in each section are reminiscent of Japanese forms. I really like the point counterpoint strategy you take here. The images and particulars are great, as is the perspective of the speaker.
Very nice Tamra. My favourites are i. iv and vi.
Nice! I love the part about the “reprobate cat”…
Each line really painted a picture…
Creative way of doing it!
exulting mixture
I enjoy short form poetry, and even thought these could stand on their own, to me, they work much better in this sort of grouping.
Well done…
I like the connection between all of the parts — and good use of the prompt words too. Very germane and unobtrusive. And your language was descriptive too. Good write.
-Nicole
This use makes the form more interesting. Together they do give a strong sense of storm.
What a fascinating form these American sentences are! Thank you for introducing me to them. I agree with all the praise above. Tis cat that vowelizes — what a great insight! a poem all its own. I can see some kind of instrumental interlude between a recitation of each of these parts — brief flute music, maybe. Well-done.
I like the American Sentence form you used. It’s the point of a poetic stick that jabs at perception and understanding. Together, these lines have indeed painted an anticipation of that to come and the reaction of living nature to it. I enjoyed your writing.
Regards,
DH
iv.
Bird chatter is all croak and consonant. Tis cat that vowelizes.
Nice! Consonants are usually interpreted as more aggressive than vowels, but here the cat’s gentle voice belies its predatory nature.
I especially love the beginning and the ending.
I like the brevity…reprobate cats are dangerous ….thanks for sharing
I especially love 1 and 3 – your field notes are such a wonderful idea for poems.
I especially love how you open this and then take us through the storm with such specific images. And I like all the bird noises that run through. i. and iv. are my favorites.