This poem was inspired by Read Write Poem Prompt #83: use as many or as few of the following words as you want. I used heart, slump, and sky. Loiter became linger, and flaming became flares.
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The Terrace
It seems pretentious
to call what we did
landscaping,
cleaning the neglected yard,
shaping its slumped surface,
fitting flat stones into a small terrace.
A few plants soften the edges
of its heart in which we now linger
watching the slow pulse of traffic
and the shimmer of heat
beyond the shadows.
Overhead, the sky is blue,
but sunset flares behind us,
and night is on the horizon.
Beautiful. I feel as though I’m sitting there watching night take over the shadows.
Love the last 2 lines. They are beautiful and visceral, I am the sunset being chased by night.
I love this. I have often felt the same about the silly things we do to clean up a space.
The ending is cleansing, like a sigh.
So atmospheric!
acuity of touch
a wonderful escape this afternoon. if only i could trade my desk for your terrace. aside from the prompt, some great, strong language in this poem. enjoy the landscaped view! -lawrence
For such a random grouping of words, this is so refreshingly concrete. Well done!
How gentle…peaceful…
Nice job!
This is just so lovely.
nicely done……I especially like the feeling